somtimes life is just hard.

I'm having a little breakdown today.  I'm feeling super overwhelmed.  I hate all the pressure I feel to be the best mom, the best wife, the cleanest house keeper, the best student blah blah blah.  The worst part is not having someone who understands what I am going through.  I know you moms out there are probably like "yeah I get it too" but, no, you don't.  Excuse me for having a pity party here, but right now its just not fair that I don't have my mom to talk to.  I know I have so many people who are so supportive and so awesome, and I'm super grateful for you.  But there are things you just need your mom for.  Today is just one of those days I need my mom.  I. Miss. Her.  I just wish I could have her  back.  Why did she have to die? I still can't understand it.  She was the ONE PERSON I could talk to about everything and she wouldn't judge me or criticize me, or think different of me as a mom, daughter, friend etc.  And she wouldn't sugar coat things.  She was just there to listen.  I miss that.  All of you out there who don't appreciate your moms like you should really need to re-evaluate things.  You really don't know what you have until its gone.