Its the most wonderful time of the year!

Ahh, Christmas time again.  How I LOVE the holiday season.  Its such a great time to remember the blessings we have, to eat lots and lots of yummy, food, to reflect on all our Savior did and does for us, and especially to think about everything we DIDN'T DO this year!!!! Haha :) I say that because I've been terrible at this whole blog thing and I never did get any pictures up of Kohen.  So here we go!!

I was so surprised at how much I LOVE being a mom.  Kohen is such a little blessing and I adore him. He is so funny and active and smiley.  I never really knew that the saying "it melts my heart" really was true.  Sometimes I look at Kohen and my heart literally feels like its melting! I'm so mad I haven't been documenting as much as I want to because it is all going by so fast and I don't want to forget anything!!! So I am going to be better at recording what he does and when and I will be taking LOTS of pictures.  Trey bought me a new camera as a pre-Christmas present and I it is so much fun to take good quality pictures of Kohen.

So here are some pictures to make up for the months I never blogged about.

These are some of Kohen's newborn pictures, done by Terri Fairbanks Photography, at 1 1/2 weeks old :)

These are leading up to one month old. He was such a strong and happy baby! He could hold his head up and was learning how to start grabbing things

 His beautiful Nana! and his cute bum

 One month old. 

 Special daddy moment

 This is Kohen's last time being held by his Grandma Sandra

 First Time to the Beach in Tahoe

 Grandpa Rob!

 2 MONTHS OLD 

Such a busy boy.  Learned to like tummy-time and got better at holding his head up!

He loves to grap things and kicks his little legs around.

 Baby Blessing Day July 8, 2012

Kohen with all of the uncles on Dads side and Nana and Dad

 3 MONTHS

He was able to grab things, laugh, and started sitting up with support

He weighed around 14 pounds

 Silly faces :)

 First solid food: Bananas! He loved them!!!

 First shots at his 4 month appointment

 4 MONTHS

He started scooting around on his belly!

He ate a lot of rice cereal and bananas and sweet potatoes

 16 pounds 13 ounces and 27 inches long

 First time playing in the grass, watching dad fix the car

 He loves his bouncer

 Playing with his buddy Rayden

 5 MONTHS

He started sitting up on his own and crawling on his knees

He loves food.  Except chicken and rice baby food.

He gagged a lot with that one.

 Trip to California for Fall Break

 Auntie Joe!

 Nanny is the best entertainer

 First Halloween!! We carved leg holes in a pumpkin and took pictures :)

 6 MONTHS

Sitting up like a pro! Crawling on hands and knees and eating a ton!

He is such a ham and loves to smile at anybody!

He weighed 19 pounds 15 ounces and was 28 inches long at his 

6 month appointment.  Growing BOY!

 Proud that the Giants won the World Series! Wearing dads hat :)

 Starting to get around good.... mom is worried haha

 First time in the SNOW!! Wasn't sure how he liked it :)

 First Thanksgiving! 4 generation picture with Paw Paw, Nana, and Dad

 Check out those rolls.

 7 MONTHS OLD

Starting to pull himself up and walk along things!  He crawls FAST!

He loves sweet potatoes and rice cereal and anything edible or even non edible.

We have to watch him so close because he puts everything in his mouth!!!

Still such a happy little HAM. 

People always  comment on his big smile.

 Hanging out with mom. 

Family Pictures taken by our dear friend Shannon Reid

 So now that I've caught up on everything I won't overload my next posts with as many pictures!!!!! HAHA I just wanted to get the highlights posted :)  He is such a wonderful little boy.  We can't imagine our lives without him! There is no greater blessing that knowing I have him and Trey forever and ever.

Hope you all have a great holiday season!!!! Remember life is fragile and family is the most important gift we have.  Cherish these happy times and give to those who are less fortunate.  And don't forget what this time of year is all about, the birth of Jesus Christ who made our lives, happiness, and salvation possible!!!!

About My Mom

I thought I would take a moment, while Kohen is happily playing, to sit down and FINALLY get this post done.  Its been in my drafts for about 4 and a half months now and I just couldn't quite finish it.  So, NO my dear friends, I did not forget I had a blog, and I have been wanting to post forever, but this post is near and dear to my heart and very difficult for me to write.  So, here it goes.

For those who never go the full story, my mom died almost 5 months ago (in 6 days it will be 5 months).  She was diagnosed with stage four melanoma, and passed away two weeks after her diagnosis.  She had been really sick since around the time I got there in the end of March and she went to the doctor and they just couldn't seem to figure out what was wrong.   They thought it was gastritis, they thought it was stress, they gave her medication, but nothing was working.  Finally, they did a CT scan and found spots on her liver and lungs, and later two blood clots in her lungs, and finally a tumor on her lung.  After a couple of biopsies and a lot of time in the hospital, and after I had come back to Utah to be with Trey, they diagnosed her.  It was the second worst day of my life, the first being the day it actually hit me that she was gone from this life.

Now, some of you who are reading this might not have known my mom.  Let me tell you about her.  She was the most amazing woman I have ever known and will ever know.  She was always thinking of others, especially us kids.  Here is an example, they day after I had Kohen she was really really sick.  I didn't know this until later, because she got ready, went and bought me flowers and a little pretty cake and came to visit me in the hospital.  You would have never known she was sick.  She looked especially beautiful that day, I remember thinking that when she came in the room.  But that is just how she was, she would put on her big girl pants and get to work.  There were over 400 hundred people at her funeral, some who traveled from out of state even.  The "theme," if I may call it that, of her funeral was her sense of humor and her service to others.  I've never cried or laughed more in my life than at her funeral.  It was such a beautiful service.  And I want to take a moment to thank everyone who was there to support my family in such a difficult time.  You have no idea what your love and support means to us.  My mom probably never knew HOW MANY lives she impacted, until that day.  I know she was watching and thinking "Wow... ALL of those people are there for me?" and I know she was so grateful that we had so many friends and so much family there to help carry us through that day.

Some of you who were there probably noticed that we didn't cry much.  And this has been on my mind for a while, and I feel that I need to share why we didn't, because I now understand why.  A wonderful friend of mine sent me a message the day after my mom died.  I want to share part of it because she explains it perfectly.   

"I remember when my sister died, we just wanted to be together as a family and it bonded us in a way that nothing else in the world could. It also helped so much to have a special spirit surrounding our home--I think Heavenly Father always sends that when he knows we have lost something priceless to us. It was like a bubble that protected us in a special way and kind of took away some of the sting. It was a really sacred time. It was so tangible that I still remember the day that I didn't feel it anymore and that was kind of hard. But it comes at the right time and we are so much stronger for it."

I experienced that exact thing, and I think my family would agree.  We didn't cry a lot because we were being "protected" with that bubble.  I remember that early morning when my dad came in to tell me and my sister that my mom was gone.  He didn't have to say anything.  He opened the door, and we woke up and I just looked at him... and I knew.  He came and laid down by me and Jordyn and we all held each other and cried for a minute before he had to go back out and take care of everything.  After he left, Jordyn and I just started talking about what my mom was experiencing at that exact moment.  We talked about the wonderful, beautiful welcome she was probably receiving, and all the people who were there to greet her and hug her.  And we had that spirit come over us and we only felt peace.  It is so hard to explain, and probably difficult to understand if you haven't experienced it.  But I KNOW my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ carried me through that most difficult time in my life.  I, too, remember the day I didn't feel that peace anymore.  It was SO incredibly hard to bear.  It wasn't until I was home, back in Utah, that it hit me.  I didn't have my mom to talk to anymore.  I talked to her everyday.  EVERY DAY.  There were so many times I almost picked up my phone to call her and ask her a question, or tell her about Kohen, or to vent to her, or to ask her advice, or just to tell her something funny.  And I couldn't.  And I can't.  And I still have such a hard time with it.  For a long time I was sad, then mad, then sad, then really really sad.  And It wasn't fair and it isn't fair.  And sometimes it just hits me all over again and I lose it, and sometimes its at really inconvenient times, like getting ready for school right after I put my eye makeup on, or I will hear a song on the radio that reminds me of her, or at church when I am teaching my primary class.  But, I don't think that is ever going to stop.  I am ALWAYS going to miss my mom.  She was the BEST mom.  She was the BEST friend.  I miss her so, so, so, so much.  

So now here is the happy part :)  I HAVE to tell you, anyone who reads this, how I am doing now.  Most of you know I am a mormon.  Actually, the proper name for my church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Mormon is just a nick name for us.  We call our selves LDS for Latter Day Saints.  Anyway, in our church we believe that families can be together forever!  When we are married, we get sealed to each other in the temple, and that binds us together for eternity!  My parents were married for time and eternity in the Salt Lake temple, and because of that, all of us kids were automatically sealed to them as well.  SO.  If we live righteously and keep God's commandments and the promises we made him when we were baptized and when we went through the temple, we can all be with my mom again! FOREVER.  I KNOW I will see my mom again.  I've had some very sacred confirmations that she is actively working on the other side, and that she is STILL a huge part of my life and my family's life.  And this is such a wonderful comfort to me.  In the scriptures is says that this life is only a fleeting moment in the eyes of God and in comparison to eternity.  It doesn't seem like it right now, but I can't wait to look back and say "I made it."  My faith, my religion has been the biggest reason I am ok today.  We also believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross after he took our sins upon him in the Garden of Gethsemane.  We call this the Atonement.  Not only does this allow us to repent and be forgiven of our sins, but Jesus Christ made it possible for Him to understand our pain, our sorrow, our happiness, and ANYTHING we go through.  THIS is how I've healed from losing my mom.  My Savior, Jesus Christ, lifted me up and carried my through the MOST difficult thing I have ever gone through.  HE is why I live today.  I KNOW He lives.  I KNOW He loves me and knows me by my name.  I KNOW He is there for me when I need him.  When no one can understand my pain, HE is there.  I LOVE HIM.  I know Him.  I am SO grateful for Him.  I am stronger because of this tragic thing that for whatever reason my family had to go through.  For whatever reason God needed my mom back with Him, I am stronger.  I still don't understand why it had to happen, I still think it isn't fair, but I have faith that one day it will be made right.  One day I will be able to hug my mom again and tell her to her face HOW MUCH I LOVE HER.  And the same goes for Jesus Christ.  I am going to live my life the way I need to so I can look them BOTH in the eyes and tell them how grateful I am for their examples, for their love, and for everything they have done for me to make me who I am today.  I'm still going to have trials, I'm still going to miss my mom, I'm still going to struggle with many things, but that is what this life is for.  To grow, to learn, and to come to know God and our Savior so we can put everything into their hands and let them bless us, and let them carry us through our hard times.  I KNOW that is true. Without any doubt :)

This song never really touched me like it does now.  This song perfectly explains how I feel about my Savior.  

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the^arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your ^bfoundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty ^cstorm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."  Helaman 5:12

Finally!

So it's been a month since our beautiful little boy came into this world and I'm just now posting about it. Welcome to the life of being a mommy!

First off- I hated being nine months pregnant. Not only are you exhausted and huge and uncomfortable but EVERYONE AND THEIR DOGS have some kind of advice for you of how to go into labor. And its always the same. Don't get me wrong- I asked people on Facebook for some different advice on how to get labor started. But outside of that everyone told me at least 5371985736 times a day to "go on long walks" or "eat spicy food" etc etc. k people...if you see a pregnant lady that is due any second don't you think she would have looked up or been told what to do to go into labor? My advice to you all who have not realized you do this- DO NOT GIVE ADVICE TO A PREGNANT LADY IF SHE DOESN'T ASK FOR IT. Yes i had been going on LONG walks with my mom everyday, yes I had been eating spicy food as much as I could without dying of heartburn, yes i had been playing just dance on the kinect, and yes i had been trying everything i could think of! I sound so rude and ungrateful right now. But I really almost punched a few people. Especially when my due date came and went and everyone kept asking "still no baby?! Have you tried [insert obvious method here]" ... I almost lost my mind haha! Trey and i decided NOTHING WORKS! THE BABY COMES WHEN HE/SHE IS READY! So needless to say when I went into labor at midnight Tuesday night (well technically Wednesday morning) I was completely and utterly ready!

Trey was asleep when my contractions started so I began timing them. And oh my gosh if you haven't had a baby yet it is true when they say you WILL KNOW when you go into labor. Those suckers hurt. After an hour of timing my contractions I woke Trey up and told him I thought it was time. My contractions were STRONG and averaging about 6 minutes apart. I went and told my mom and we got ready to go! Now for those who don't know this, I delivered Kohen in Modesto. My family lives in Valley Springs... It's about a 50 minute drive... And my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. By the time we got there my contractions were VERY STRONG and about 3 minute apart. So I was admitted at 2:00 am and all I wanted at that point was my epidural. You know in the movies when they ladies start screaming "GET ME MY EPIDURAL!!!" yeah I felt like that, but I didn't start screaming :) I got my epidural at 5:30 and it was so lovely. Angels started singing I'm pretty sure... Or I may have been hallucinating because I hadn't slept yet. Once that thing kicked in it was smooth sailing... For a few hours at least. Now I'm not going to go into detail about my delivery because it certainly wasn't what I expected. You can't possibly be prepared for labor unless you have had a baby before. And mine was difficult and I didn't want to have more babies when it was over haha but it truly was the most amazing and hardest thing I've ever done in my life! My epidural wore off so I felt a lot of the delivery. And Kohen's heart rate was dropping so he had to be vacuumed out. But besides that it was alright haha.

Kohen Daniel Guernsey was born at 1:05 on April 25, 2012 with a full head of dark hair! He weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces and was 21.5 inches long! He was and is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen :) He was so alert and he could already lift his head and look around for short periods of time. He was so tiny!!! My mom, Trey, and my sister were in the room and got to experience it with me. And Trey's mom was able to be on FaceTime! I'm so very grateful for their support. My beautiful boy came healthy with a few little complications but he was ready to meet us and for us to take care of him. And I fall more and more in love with him everyday! It truly is crazy how you can love someone so completely immediately. And how you are capable of loving two people with such an intensity! I LOVE my two boys :)

I love being a mommy. The first week was terribly hard. Especially after Trey left... Im so thankful for my family and all the help they gave me! I wouldve been completely lost without them. Especially with my mom being sick... That's another story for another post. They were such a great support group :) it was sure nice to come home and be with Trey though. He was super busy opening his store and moving us to our new apartment. He did such a great job. We ended up moving to a different one the following week though haha. It has been nuts but Treys mom Adria and her husband Jake came up and Treys brother Taylor came over and they were such a huge help!!! It was a blessing to have them here :)

What I have learned from all of this is that God is real and is a part of my life each and everyday and blesses me immensely. I know he was with me in the delivery room and I know He helps me be patient and strong and gives me energy to take care of Kohen when I feel too tired to. I know He lives and Jesus Christ lives. I'm so thankful I have my little family forever! They are everything to me :) I'm certainly not super mom yet, and I have a lot if learning to do. But I'm so grateful that I've been blessed with this baby boy. He is such a little miracle!!!

Our First Anniversary

Wow.  What a fun anniversary!!! Yesterday we celebrated our first year of marriage together!  We had originally planned on just going to dinner but Trey had a few surprises up his sleeve!  He had to work though, and we got a late start due to some complications he had getting off work. First, we went to Benihana's for dinner.  I had never been there before so it was fun!                                                                                            We had an 8:00 reservation but didn't sit down until around 8:30! It was pretty busy so I'm glad we got a reservation!  The food was really good!  I ordered Colossal Shrimp and Trey got the Teriyaki Chicken and we shared.  The meal came with steamed rice, salad, soup, and a shrimp appetizer.  I also ordered a side of chicken fried rice, which was amazing.  It was really hot in there though, especially being 8 months pregnant haha!  It was a really really nice dinner.  

                         

                         
                                         

After dinner we went back to the car and Trey blind folded me!  He had let me know he had planned a surprise and that we would be going "river rafting!"  We got to our destination and he helped me out of the car and told me to carry a few things, then guided me up some stairs and into a building, then down some stairs and he unlocked a door.  Then he turned on our wedding song :) and told me to take off my blindfold.  When I opened my eyes we were in a river themed room!!! He got the Mississippi Serenade room at the Anniversary Inn in Salt Lake.  It was beautiful! I was so surprised.  On the bed was a poster he made me compiled of 365 pictures representing our first year of marriage. He wrote me such a sweet letter to go along with it.  It was so heartfelt and beautiful.  He put so much thought into it :)  It was so sweet.  He also got me a box of cupcakes  from The Sweet Tooth Fairy! My favorite cupcakes in the world. It was funny because when he went to check in and drop everything off at the room he dropped the cupcakes! They were a little smashed but still soooo good! Then he opened my surprise for him.  I made him a little scrapbook of the top 10 reason why I love him.  I made it so he can have pictures to look at while I am in California, and so he can read all the reasons why he means the world to me.  I also made an anniversary box for him :)  I filled it with sparkling cider, gushers (he loves gushers), chocolate covered strawberries, and a few other little treats.  I was embarrassed because the chocolate covered strawberries were so ugly!!!!  The chocolate would NOT stick to the strawberries.  They were a mess.  But Trey still liked them :)  It was funny.  Trey had to work today, so he ordered breakfast to be delivered at 7 this morning.  It was nice to have breakfast in bed together and it was a yummy yummy breakfast!

We had such a nice evening together.  It really was so perfect.  I am so in love with my husband!  He is everything I ever dreamed about and more!  I love that everyday is even better than the first.  I feel like we just fall even more in love everyday.  Of course we have difficult times, but we always work through them and we are always there for each other.  This past year has been the best of my life.  People always told us the first year is the hardest, and if that is the case I am not worried about the future at all!!!  We had such a great first year.  We experience newly wed life in our apartment in St. George, we went on an adventure to Kansas where Trey worked his guts out and we found out we were expecting our baby boy!  We moved to Salt Lake and Trey has been blessed with great work and now we are on to our next adventure of having a baby and Trey working a great new job.  The next month is going to be hard being away from Trey, but hopefully it will go by fast!  AND THEN Kohen will be here! And then we will move into our own apartment and start the new chapter of our life together :)  I'm so looking forward to many many many more anniversaries to come. I am so thankful God put Trey in my life :) I'm so thankful I will be with him and Kohen forever!  I couldn't imagine it any other way :)

Established 3*12*11

First baby shower and other happy things!

Wow it's been awhile :/ A LOT has happened in the past month!! Shall we play catch up?? I think yes.

First of all, we had been discussing for a while if Trey should get a second job to keep him busy when I move out to California and just to save some extra money.  So we decided that he should apply at Jimmy John's (for those of you who have never heard of Jimmy John's its a sandwich shop with the best sandwiches in the world. Not even exaggerating.) since he has worked there before and has management experience from working in the one in St. George.  So he went in and applied and the general manager there noticed that Trey managed the one in Stg and asked him to come back the next day for an interview.  So Trey went and had a great interview and then he was asked to come back the next day for another interview with the owner! We were a little confused because usually they don't have you meet with the owner so we kind of suspected something was up. So he went the next day and basically they told him they have a couple new stores opening and want Trey to be a general manager!!!  We couldn't have been more shocked haha because we were just hoping for a part time job.  The only stipulation they had was if Trey would quick working at FedEx.  We were a little worried about that because FedEx offers really good benefits, but not as good pay.  So they made an agreement.  Trey would work for a week at Jimmy John's and they would see how they think he would do as a GM and then let him know if it was a for sure thing or not.  Trey worked 3 days and they told him they had seen enough and to go ahead and put in his two weeks at FedEx so they could start training him up and get him ready to manage a store around the end of May!!! For the past two weeks trey has been working both jobs full time (finishing up his last two weeks at FedEx) and it has come out to him working about 17 hours a day!! So he has been exhausted. Today is his last day working both jobs, and tomorrow is his last day at FedEx.  Thank goodness! He is such a hard worker and an even better sport about it.  I'm so thankful for all he does for me.  I honestly could not ask for a better husband!!! I love him lots and lots :)  He has to go out to Illinois for training for two weeks at the end of this month, which is great because he will be kept busy and not have time to miss me while I'm in California.  Well I hope he misses me a little ;) So we are SO excited about this new job! He will have time to go to school and still be able to see his new little man once he's here! And the pay is wonderful :) This is truly a HUGE blessing for us and a wonderful stress relief!  We are so thankful that the Lord has given us this opportunity and we would be so ungrateful if we didn't say we KNOW He blessed us with it.  He has a plan for us and my testimony has been strengthened to know that if we put our faith in Him, He will bless us and guide us to where we are supposed to be! Everything seems to be falling into place and we couldn't be happier.  Well, one thing would make me happier... and that's when my little boy gets here :)

Another exciting happening was my first baby shower!!! My mom's best friend from all the way back in seventh grade, the beautiful Rosalee Ewell and her girls threw me such a cute shower!  It was so fun! They made chicken salad sandwiches, a yummy salad, a fruit platter, homemade oreos which were to die for, and mini green cupcakes!!! We played some cute games and opened presents and visited a lot.  It was really nice.  They decorated the house with blue and green balloons and lots of blue and green polka dots to match the invites I made :) I really couldn't have been a happier girl that day! And of course what made it even better was the company! And I'm going to name everyone because I don't ever want to forget it! haha My Aunt Tracy and cousins Jessica, Morgan, and Kassidy came and Jessica brought her adorable daughter Ashlyn who of course entertained us with her dancing and cool gymnastics moves! It was really good to see them! My cute little California girls came, Sarah and Alyx. They are going to school here in Utah so I was so happy they were able to make it! I rode down with my friend Libby, who works with Trey at FedEx!  Trey's mission buddy's wife, Shannon, who I consider a pretty good friend now, came with her beautiful new daughter Tenlee :) My friend Chelsea Curtis came too, as well as Trey's stepmom and step sis, Linda and Coy. Rosalee's daughter, Ashton was a huge help and she is also expecting her first baby! And of course Rosalee and her other two daughters, Madeline and Victoria. They are so stinking cute! We all had fun catching up and visiting and talking a lot about babies! It was very very nice :)

  

We have a busy couple months ahead of us! I am leaving next week for St George for my second baby shower, and then the next day I will be California bound! MY LAST TRIP WITHOUT A BABY!!!!! My mom is also throwing a baby shower for all ya'll Calaveras peeps! That should be fun too. Man, Kohen is going to be one spoiled child!  Just like his mommy ;) Trey has that training to go to and then he has to find an apartment, get our stuff packed up, and get us moved in all before me and Kohen get home!  Poor guy has a lot on his plate, but luckily we have a lot of support around us and I think he will be fine. Im sure going to miss him though. A whole month away :( That isn't fun.  But we gotta do what we gotta do! I'm so excited for what is ahead of us, even though parts will be hard. And I know the Lord is watching over us.  Its all coming up so quick! I'm getting a little nervous, but I am more excited.  Kohen is getting big!  His kicking and nudges are VERY noticeable now and he is getting me ready for the long nights ahead by making sure I'm good and uncomfortable :) I can't wait to meet him and see what he looks like and to learn all about him. Only 43 days left!!!

What do YOU think??

So I watched a documentary on natural child birth and mid wives today called "The Business of Being Born."  I was expecting to hear the benefits of BOTH sides... and it was completely on how horrible hospital births are. I hate when documentaries are completely one-sided because I watch them from an educational stand point and want to know everything about each side.  So I was really bugged watching it because it made me feel like I am an idiot if I want to have my baby in a hospital.
Now, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do, and I really think I, personally, would feel more comfortable in a hospital in case something went wrong, like if he's breeched or his heart rate drops, or he's too big and a C-seciton is necessary or anything else.  However, I have been feeling like I may want to try and have Kohen naturally... which I honestly think I won't be able to do haha so I AM aiming more towards seeing how it goes when my contractions start and deciding if I want an epidural when its all happening. But I have 2 more months and I reserve my right to change my mind :) haha I am not very tolerant with pain so I bet I will have an epidural.  The documentary really bothered me, though, because it made hospital births seem dangerous and stressful and hard on the mother and the baby, which honestly did scare me a little, but I know so many people who have had wonderful experiences in the hospital with an epidural. And I also know a few women who have had their babies at home and 100% natural and they loved it.
SO.  I am just interested in what other people think about natural births, home births, and hospital births. I am going with a hospital birth so I'm not looking for opinions on what I personally should do, I am just curious as to what other women think about this subject.  I think every woman has the right to decide for themselves what is best and most comfortable for them and their baby :)

I am 30 weeks today!!! I can't even express how excited I am.  But I can express how impatient I am :)  I want Kohen to be here! But I want him to be healthy and strong so I guess I will just have to practice patience and wait until April 21.  I already love my baby boy so much, and I truely hurt for those who are unable to have children.  I can't imagine the pain those women go through and the trial of accepting it and trying to live with it everyday.  So my heart goes out to them.  I feel so blessed that Heavenly Father has allowed me to be a mom and to prepare to be a parent and to share this experience with a wonderful husband who loves me.  He is amazing. The other day I was having a little breakdown, just from being tired and huge and having an achey back and for a moment feeling very helpless.  He showed me the video below and it really strengthened me.  I am so grateful for the beautiful stance that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has on families, motherhood, and eternity.  I know I can get through anything and YES I am scared of the sleepless nights, the tears, never seeing my husband, and the pressure of raising a child to grow up to be a good man, but I KNOW God loves me and will bless me and give me the strength I need to be a good mom.  I know that with out any doubt in my mind because He lives and He loves each and everyone of us!

The original video is from mormonchannel.org under mormon messages :) There are so many wonderful videos like this that may help you if you are having a bad day or going through a difficult trial. Check the website out :)

Feeling huge today!

Oh my goodness I am getting more and more uncomfortable! I'm only 28 weeks and I am already feeling like I can't get bigger or I will pop! They aren't kidding when they say the third trimester is most uncomfortable haha! It seems like it all hit at once! Aching back, hard to breathe let alone walk, and no sleep. I know it sounds like I'm complaining but I'm really not :) it's just amazing to me the changes your body goes through during pregnancy! It's exciting and scary and so many other emotions all in one :) and I couldn't be more excited to meet my lil guy.
Our friends Zane and Emily just welcomed their little boy, Dreyden, into the world on Sunday! He is so cute! Such a happy thing! Our other good friends Tyson and Shannon also just had their beautiful baby girl, Tenlee, yesterday! So many babies and so many friends for Kohen to meet and play with!! So congrats to them! :)
Trey and I had the opportunity to attend the temple on Wednesday and it was such a beautiful and peaceful experience.  I love going to the temple.  It really is a refuge from the world and I felt so happy being there.  It is such a blessing to have one so close.  I had a some time to think about the wonderful blessing of having an eternal family and that I have my boys forever! And also to know my Heavenly Father is watching over us and wants the very best for us and we just need to keep our faith in Him and trust that he has a plan for us.  I just pray he helps me be patient these next few months! I'm getting so anxious for Kohen to get here!!!! But I want him to be healthy and strong so I GUESS I can wait 2 1/2 more months. Hey I've made it this far... haha!

Here's a pic of the belly! Its getting so big! So I have good reasons for back aches right?? :)